Pathological attachment.. when love deviates from its course and harms its owner 2022

Rasha Kanakriya Nadine (28 years old) remembers two years ago, when she loved a person and clung to him despite the great differences between them, and was officially associated with him, but she did not know that it was the beginning of a stage that would change her life, as this love led her to live in a difficult psychological state that is still recovering from its effects until today.


Rasha Kanakriya Nadine (28 years old) remembers two years ago, when she loved a person and clung to him despite the great differences between them, and was officially associated with him, but she did not know that it was the beginning of a stage that would change her life, as this love led her to live in a difficult psychological state that is still recovering from its effects until today.

“Sick attachment” with this described Nadine, who suffered from it during the year she lived with the one she loved, and just as a person is addicted to coffee and smoking, it is similar to being addicted to someone she loves. addictive with his companion

Nadine talked about the period she went through, and this matter required great courage from her, and she began with the stereotype that this person created about himself inside her and was characterized by selfishness, as he planted inside her that he loved her and that no one looked like her, and in return he felt that she was always less than him, and he controlled her in all something.

With the passage of time, she became terrified of the thought of losing him, and she became afraid of the idea of ​​living without him, despite all his harmful qualities, and she says, “How am I going to live without him or feel balanced without him? These questions dominated Nadine’s thinking and fear made her make many concessions to basic matters in her life just so that she would not lose him and continue in this relationship.

After Nadine gave up her work in order to please him, the universe became the center of her life and she lost vision for anything else in life, which put her in a difficult psychological state of insomnia and lack of nutrition, which led her to the initial stages of depression.

“This disease is difficult and it is not easy to get out of it.. Basically, how does a person understand that he suffers from it,” says Nadine, but the many worries and differences that she experienced made the disease clear to her with her emaciated body and her constant thinking about it, and she has reached a final stage in which she only wants salvation.

Nadine points out that this relationship got her into disagreements with her family and friends for him, and at the same time she became unable to live a normal life, and all of these things made her realize that there was something wrong in her life and that she was going down a dark path.

The individual’s recognition of himself is the starting point for the end of this disease, and the lifeline that helped Nadine get out of this disease with her friends and parents. “I was stubborn at first, but they did not abandon me and bear everything with me,” she says, indicating that one of the most important reasons why a person wakes up from this “illusion” and stands on his feet and realizes the disease are the people around him who love him and want his interest and the good for him from their heart.

She regained her strength after nearly two years to recover, as she says, and was convinced that she was able to live without him, and at the same time, the things that were causing her stress ended her life, “a person has to think of himself to get back on his feet again.” During this stage, she moved away from everything related to him, erased the photos that they collected, moved away from every place that reminds her of him, and got close to people who love her, and she stayed with people who made her feel safe.

Psychologists consider attachment disorder a “psychological disorder” experienced by some individuals who experience compulsive behaviors, most notably displaying an unhealthy dependence on others to meet their emotional needs.

According to what was published on the “Sky News” website about the causes of pathological attachment, the founder of attachment theory, psychologist John Bowlby, suggests that it may be the result of a psychological disorder that includes latent problems in childhood, such as physical and emotional abuse as a result of problems of abandonment, loneliness or insecurity.

Recent studies indicate an increasing incidence of pathological attachment among people who suffer in silence, as they experience feelings of fear, anger, pain or shame that are ignored.

The Kusnacht Center for the treatment of pathological attachment disorder in Switzerland explains a number of symptoms that suffer from it, including low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, and difficulties in making decisions and defining feelings. In addition to problems communicating with others, fear of abandonment, extreme control of others, neglect of personal needs, a chronic feeling of boredom and emptiness, as well as constantly thinking or talking about the partner, and texting all the time.

From the psychological aspect, the specialist Ismat Hoso shows that the difference between attachment and love is great. Attachment is behavior and love is feelings. In true love, a person gives and takes reciprocally with the partner, and if he gives him more, he does not wait for that, while in the behavior of attachment, he needs to take the amount of giving meaning on Every behavior he does wants an immediate response, so he exhausts himself and the other party.

Hosu ​​explains that the person with pathological attachment believes that he is falling into the “illusion of love”, indicating that love ascends the person to the top, unlike behavioral addiction.

She continues that when a person relates to a person, he forgets all his achievements, his life and everything that happens and becomes dependent in his happiness for everything on him, so the other may be alienated from him, and this is a big difference between the natural feelings of love between two people.

Hosu ​​points out that pathological attachment affects both sexes, but women more because their need for emotions is more, indicating, “Unfortunately, the woman was raised as an incomplete entity and only the presence of a person in her life completes it. to be the center of her life.

Hosu ​​explains that this daily habituation in this way increases the percentage of pathological attachment and causes a person to fall into many behavioral and psychological disorders, to forget what he has achieved and become only his existence and his being related to the other.

Girls go through stages in which they feel that achievement and success, and the positions they have reached, and everything is not considered final with the absence of a person to complete their lives, according to Hosu, and here lies the problem. Hope love.

Hosu ​​confirms that a person is able to get out of this situation if the symptoms are simple, and that is if he has the will and awareness to make a mature decision, he is able to help himself, but in the absence of this awareness, a specialist must be resorted to in order to teach him and guide him on the right way to develop his skills and tools , so that he can reduce his behavioral and emotional dependence on someone and determine the sources of his happiness so that he depends on himself.

And Hosu mentions that the symptoms that indicate the infection of pathological attachment is that the other is the focus of thinking around the clock, and the person considers himself non-existent as long as the other does not communicate with him, explaining that the symptoms of the state of attachment are similar to obsessive-compulsive disorder and is treated as it treats obsessive-compulsive disorder and sometimes it may be needed To medical treatment by a psychiatrist or to psychological and behavioral therapy.

Hosu ​​points out that getting rid of this disease becomes easier if it is recognized, and that one has become exhausted and tired, his life has been disrupted, his productivity has decreased and his social network has been affected, and he is convinced and realizes that what he is doing is harmful to him, and asks for help from a competent person.

Hosu ​​stresses that each case has its own specificity, “and what works for one person does not work for another,” each according to his circumstances and the support network surrounding him, but the most important thing is the realization that he is exhausted and asks for help from a specialist.

Hosu ​​believes that in cases of pathological attachment, a person raises the dopamine hormone, which causes temporary happiness, and when this hormone decreases, he enters a state of depression and fatigue, and he may resort to other substances to raise this hormone, and here begins the chain of failures and tragedy, and everything that is harmful.

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